27 August 2004

Can't resist it. I finally broke my 1-year-old vow and made myself an aromatic warm 3-in-1 coffee and along with it, are some sugarcoat square biscuits for a nice afternoon tea. God knows how i going to suffer for that act tommorow (FYI, my brain is addicted to caffine. Headaches come if there's no caffine the next day) And suddenly I get to feel a bit of comfort and normacy back in my life. I used to have such snack while reading Strait Times back in my student times.

Presently my life has been total wrecked and it's out of my control. Guilt-driven, that why I haven't been writing here for a long time. I stay home most of the time because of financial constraints, helping my mom to mop the entire house and mugaming. I have lost the motivation in looking for jobs and I hate agents. They alway give false hope. I know I'm just not trying hard enough. I really hope that one day, my laptop will crash and will it be the end of my mu career. Look here (under the nick 'Jingyi') and you will know how much time I spend on gaming. Not just caffine that I'm addicted. I need a psycho doc to plug me out.

To make things worse, my idiotic brother likes to spit me in front of my parents during every dinner that I have been slacking at home and being a freeloader after dad's work hard for my education fee blah blah. It really makes me feel like slashing his fat lips into halves to teach him a lesson. You may think he does that for my good sake. But he ain't a normal person. He does that just simply because he's a troublemaker at home. He make our home so impossible to stay in. Even my mum feels like leaving home. And dad isn't helping. His son is just being his only child. Only my sis understands and know it's true. If God is fair, I really hope that idiot's being made mute one day

I think my bro badly need a psycho doc too.