Tuesday, 28 Jan 2003
Just return from grandparents' home. Met grandma downstair. Don't recognise her at first until i noticed my uncle pushing her wheelchair. Weak and frail. that's not the image in my childhood memory. She used to be a huge and forceful woman who held my little hand tightly when going out with her. Her voice means command. That's no way you could defy, not even my dad. Now she's in constant pain, not even have the energy to talk. It's very hard to conjure the present states. Heard that the cancerous lump lies on her nerves which made it very painful. I was flipping through my biology text where an article about cancer caught my eyes. One characteristic of cancer cell: cancer cells are lethal. (BTW 3 out of 4 people will be vitimised by cancer in future according to some medic article) Everyone knows this of course but what pains me is the next sentence: " they will put individual on a painful road to death". To me, it feels so horrible to be sick for a week (I got a recurring fever for the entire study week for exam last semester) not to say you're going to be tortured till your last breath without any hope of recovering. Now i can understand why some cancer patients choose euthanasia as the only way out of agony. if you read my previous entries you would have noticed the turn of event. It was my grandpa who was sick that time while my grandma could carry her granddaughter to Chinatown / Bugis to buy some chinese herbs. Now it's my grandpa who take care of my grandma. Why is there no prevention and absolute cure to this dreadful monster despite advanced medical field? How could it even bring downfall to a healthy person who exercise regularly and carefully select their food intake. *senseless rumbling* (btw, i write these blogs primarily for my reference in future unlike what people say that bloggers are narcissists. I just want to reflect what i thought and feel at that time and gather the contrast between the 2 timelines. Of course i'm letting the server to help lessen my brain storage!)
Just return from grandparents' home. Met grandma downstair. Don't recognise her at first until i noticed my uncle pushing her wheelchair. Weak and frail. that's not the image in my childhood memory. She used to be a huge and forceful woman who held my little hand tightly when going out with her. Her voice means command. That's no way you could defy, not even my dad. Now she's in constant pain, not even have the energy to talk. It's very hard to conjure the present states. Heard that the cancerous lump lies on her nerves which made it very painful. I was flipping through my biology text where an article about cancer caught my eyes. One characteristic of cancer cell: cancer cells are lethal. (BTW 3 out of 4 people will be vitimised by cancer in future according to some medic article) Everyone knows this of course but what pains me is the next sentence: " they will put individual on a painful road to death". To me, it feels so horrible to be sick for a week (I got a recurring fever for the entire study week for exam last semester) not to say you're going to be tortured till your last breath without any hope of recovering. Now i can understand why some cancer patients choose euthanasia as the only way out of agony. if you read my previous entries you would have noticed the turn of event. It was my grandpa who was sick that time while my grandma could carry her granddaughter to Chinatown / Bugis to buy some chinese herbs. Now it's my grandpa who take care of my grandma. Why is there no prevention and absolute cure to this dreadful monster despite advanced medical field? How could it even bring downfall to a healthy person who exercise regularly and carefully select their food intake. *senseless rumbling* (btw, i write these blogs primarily for my reference in future unlike what people say that bloggers are narcissists. I just want to reflect what i thought and feel at that time and gather the contrast between the 2 timelines. Of course i'm letting the server to help lessen my brain storage!)