I'm making myself suffering. I never felt that horrible before. It start to have physical impact on me other than emotions. Blood drain out from my limbs and head. I feel giddy the whole day.
Several times I grabbed my handphone and each time i put it down without dialing. No courage. Maybe the feeling he has for me has evaporated, maybe he was having fun with his new freedom at his fav pub dancing with cute girls out there, maybe he's enjoying some smokes with his buddy while he's asking him to forget me and befriend some new girls. Imagination runs wild. But there is nothing i can do. He's no longer within my reach and to let me know his wheaabout.
I start to think the bad things he did to me, to ease my pain but to no avail. The better part of memory still stands in the way. Not even my best friend bother to cheer me up. After she's too used to us breaking up. She most probably think we're fooling her again.
How to survive like that for days, or weeks or months or even years. My resolution is to concentrate on my piano, jogging, saving $500 a month for a european tour next year and of course trying to come up with freelancing projects. Money's my piority now. Get myself preoccupied so I can think less about this six month traumatic relationship. Hark would thought i got something different for my birthday. Guess it would be just as normal as the previous.
No thanks. No boyfriend for me anymore.
Several times I grabbed my handphone and each time i put it down without dialing. No courage. Maybe the feeling he has for me has evaporated, maybe he was having fun with his new freedom at his fav pub dancing with cute girls out there, maybe he's enjoying some smokes with his buddy while he's asking him to forget me and befriend some new girls. Imagination runs wild. But there is nothing i can do. He's no longer within my reach and to let me know his wheaabout.
I start to think the bad things he did to me, to ease my pain but to no avail. The better part of memory still stands in the way. Not even my best friend bother to cheer me up. After she's too used to us breaking up. She most probably think we're fooling her again.
How to survive like that for days, or weeks or months or even years. My resolution is to concentrate on my piano, jogging, saving $500 a month for a european tour next year and of course trying to come up with freelancing projects. Money's my piority now. Get myself preoccupied so I can think less about this six month traumatic relationship. Hark would thought i got something different for my birthday. Guess it would be just as normal as the previous.
No thanks. No boyfriend for me anymore.
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